Things went horribly right

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Homer
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Things went horribly right

Postby Homer » 19 Aug 2019, 04:19

After 243 hours of strategary to quote George Bush Jr. we were able to finally out cap the legendary, Rat King. He brought the rain, his usual cheery demeanor was diminished as he went into game mode. Upset with the antics of Adrenalines game delays and Paris making a fucking cheesecake, he was immediately pushed off his normally cool edge. I was also upset at Paris asking for advice on how to bake a cheese cake in pregame, like seriously? Wtf bro?

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burnt again jackass

Ratkings cold rage and hatred for NameChangers was at an all-time high...Albeit NameChangers has changed roster so much over the years, the originals mostly dead or hooked on heroin at this point unable to cope with past fame and fortune brought from MWC wins. The new team really stepped up, WWO captained with the fortitude and power of a husband who wears the pants in his family. While LSO for some reason playing M2 still, while all his teenage friends are fucking college chicks off Hinge dating app, drove an hour to his grandma's for high speed internet access. Commitment was there, all they lacked was purpose in what would inevitably be a 2 hour waste of life....

But purpose was found in Ratking's insane rants and perpetual shit talk, the purpose that unites us all, the purpose of humiliating someone when they decide to act like a serious fuckhead that doesn't get the joke, when everyone else realizes the joke is still caring about Myth II.

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Things were falling into place, the cheesecake was almost done, and just as Ratking was about to declare a forfeit of game 1 by namechangers, adrenaline came back from his 20 minute smoke break. At the same time Chengis Khan logged in, and checked in between half-assed insults to everyone on both teams. But the real magic came from Flatline, who congratulated Shai for logging in even between coughing up phlegm into his mic from his 1 year bought of flu virus. (might want to go to a doctor bro).

"great to see you Shai!, congratulations on coming today, it's an honor to play wit you man, CLOUGHAOPHRPPPBLARGHHH, I love you guys!" please go to a fucking hospital flatline, I don't think you're getting better.

Game 1 starts, anything can happen, I could review film and post screen shots but there is no fucking way I care that much. We won.

Game 2 starts, anything can happen, nerves rustle through our troops as they prepare to die by our arbitrary clicks, men of both the dark and light mutter to themselves, "this is my life, not a fucking game, I have children at home, am I prepared to die? how do I know my controller human god will not go afk to take a cheese cake out of the oven letting me die horribly? I may never see my hot Myrmidon wife's bony ass again." Namechangers wins again. Many men still never saw their wives again.

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Game 3 starts, anything can happen but the other team needs a win, not just a win now, a fucking landslide comeback. Morale droops in Ratkings armies like a sad penis post ejaculation. Things are not looking up anymore. A close match, an exciting match but another NC victory. NC rejoices, "haha! they say, we knew we were better than those other assholes who still play this game decades later" "Fuck those guys, especially ratking."

Game 4 starts, No one knows what to expect, "these are fun games" some of the people are mumbling into their mics. A real challenge but quickly they think about playing the other two teams in the tournament and they consider not showing up next week. Game 4 starts, I get soulless again, fuck you wwo. But at least I'm not sitting like flatline coughing into the mic like some 60 year old cheerleader who smokes a pack a day between sucking cocks.

A TIE! holy balogne, a desperate attempt by NC to push for flag results in time running out in a CTF match. NO clear winner, it's now obvious to everyone on the NC roster that they are indeed not in control of everything. Life is full of disappointments, as is made clear by the emptiness that sets in to their post match banter between jokes on each other. Is there something more than this? Should I be doing something else with my life right now? Am I king of nothing by winning MWC 2019? Will my kids play this game? Will I ever have kids? Will my son's name be Will? Will my wife be hot or someone I settle for? Am I going to be hungover for work tomorrow? Do I have a life outside of the internet? No.

Game 5 starts, Ratkings teams morale is completely hinged on the fact that they won last week. We're men! Were men in tights, TIGHT TIGHTS, we roam around the woods looking for fights. Were men!!!! WERE MEN IN TIGHTSSSSSSS!!! they lose.

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Arzenic captioned above

A crushing defeat, they shrug and exit myth ready to fold laundry and go about their sunday. Ratking starts stratting for next week on his white board, but first he has to go to the store to buy more dry erase markers. FUCK he smashes his $400 flat screen TV with his middle school baseball trophy. "IF ONLY MY FUCKING TEAM LISTENED TO ME!" "NONE OF THIS FUCKING SHIT WOULD"VE HAPPENED, NOW I HAVE TO GO GET MORE DRY ERASE MARKERS, FUCKING SHITTTTTTT!!!" the mother of his child calls his phone and he hangs up before going to store. No time for that shit now, only 6 days until next match.

NC celebrates a great victory with mid day beers. Mid day victory beers turn into more beers, and soon they a slobbering drunk before dinner. Sad state of affairs these people have no self discipline and even less to do.

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WWo's wife calls to him, but he is unresponsive, every victory in life has its price, he couldn't just not get drunk.

adrenaline
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Re: Things went horribly right

Postby adrenaline » 19 Aug 2019, 04:29

LOL homer :) Not sure who got insulted more here... NC or FTN haha

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Flatline
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Re: Things went horribly right

Postby Flatline » 19 Aug 2019, 04:48

LOL fuck you homer :) :D

par73
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Re: Things went horribly right

Postby par73 » 20 Aug 2019, 05:12

The cheese cake was great Homer, Thanks

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skaaaa

Re: Things went horribly right

Postby skaaaa » 18 Sep 2019, 08:42

LOL bravo Homer :ugeek:


Last bumped by Anonymous on 18 Sep 2019, 08:42.


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