The Greatest 1 v 1 of All Time...

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Joined: 21 Feb 2013, 18:13

The Greatest 1 v 1 of All Time...

Post by Homer »

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS FIGHT, THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT, I have everything to lose and nothing to gain."

"Honey, we need the money, I know $30,0000,0000 isn't enough to cover our debts but we could use it." - Shad's wife

"I don't got much left to give to this world, everyone expecting so much of me. They want the Shadow, baby, but sometimes I just feel like a shadow of my former self."

"Baby, our staff is $4,000,000 a year, I need you to go back to work just this once, so we can get through the next couple years, then you can retire, win or lose, I still love you."

Meanwhile in Arkansas....


"Yes, I've accepted the challenge and I'm ready to die for my country. Well, maybe not my country, but for the $500 I'm betting on myself to win."

Back in Russia...

"Tell the MWC baby, I'll take the fight for $30,000,000000 but I want advertising and royalty bonuses and a house in the USA for my mum."

"Baby!!! I knew you would come around, I'll call Karma, you got this baby, you're not over the hill no matter what they say." Shad's wife.

Months of intensive training go by as Shadow and Clank train for the 1 v 1 fight of the century. Clank talks shits for hours, Shadow impervious to the criticism as he's seen it all before talks to his accountant who has been smuggling money from him for years.

"Man so you're telling me $30,000,000000, after taxes to Putin is only about $10,000,000 and your fee is $5,000,000? It's hard to make a living in Russia as a mere Myth Champion."

Seeker, "Well, as your accountant I can't stress enough the value of my services in keeping the Russian government off your back."

At the press conference, Shad and Clank talk smack to each other, and the MWC media frenzy feeds off the buzz like mosquitos and flies on a carcass. Clank can't help but wiggle under Shad's skin, after all, you can't stop the nature of the beast.
Homer sits in the back, eyes filled with glee at the prospect of making $50 off the back of the contenders.
"$50 for doing nothing but antagonizing this shit show, muahahaha, I'm going to buy a fucking tank of gasoline, huzzaaahhh!!!"

A week later at weigh-ins Shadow resigns to his destiny. CLANK moves in for the kill soaking up the media circus like a sponge. Shadow sits with a shallow pit in his stomach, the routine of the 1 v 1 and pressure and money, what did it all mean. Was it worth it?

"These bitches gettin obnoxious, they nuttin to me though, I love this shit. Go long days, longer nights, talk too much, wrong the vice, all the lights, the coma life, doctordocter would ya help me. " - Shad.

"I guess I'll be knocking the rust off you, bitch!"
"Taunt for healthcare workers before I make ya, muyahahaha."
"Nah, dawg, my kids need that money, PUTIN needs that money."
"I didn't come here to get embarrassed you PHD fucking fool."

Punches were traded, shots fired, blood drawn, who won in the arena, To Be Determined. Place your bets, %25 of all winnings will go towards feeding Shadows bastard children. %88 will go towards Putins reelection campaign 2036. Good Luck Valiant Gladiators.

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