MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

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Homer
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MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by Homer »

Every year dozens from across the world make the pilgrimage from their couch to their computer to participate in the world's greatest online video game, none other than Myth 2 Soulblighter. And this year is no different, the pre-game conference as usual held in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA.
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The majestic beasts, the human unicorns of society, that make up the dating pool of MYTH 2 trailed across the red carpet like slugs leaving behind their residue to fill the banquet hall of the Best Western Plus Casino.
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Mutters and timid handshakes filled the halls as they waited to hear what Seekers announcements were for qualifications, new rules, and general organization of teams. And of course, the promised grand prize of $1,000,000 doll hairs. Stage Left Seeker enters dressed to impress. "YES THIS YEAR YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS, JAHRAHL! AS USUAL".
"What if you don't have any?" yells out Edulus, unashamed and perplexed.
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"Gentlemen!" "and ladies" - seeker says as he winks at TB who blushes bubble out into a girlish giggle. "All your questions will be answered tonight! but first, FIRST I MUST SHOW YOU THE GRAND PRIZE!!!!!"
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gasps arise from the audience in equal parts wondermont and disappointment.

"Finally something to call my own" Renwood whispers under his breath in a covetous tone.

"BUT ALAS THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE WINNING TEAM!" "WHOO SHALLL IT BEE IN 2020 THIS YEAR SO MANY HUNGRY MEN COMPETING FOR THE SAME PRIZE, NOT JUST THE TROPHY BUT PRIDEEEEEE AND JUSTICE AND POWER!!!!!!"

The stunned crowd's mouths water in anticipation and Scratch places another Pizza flavored pringle in his mouth, crunch. He told his wife to pack sour cream and onion, he curses their 30 years together.

"GO, GO GAMBLE AT THIS BEAUTIFUL FACILITY AND ENJOY THE BAR WHILE YOU MAKE YOUR TEAMS, I AM EXCITED TO SEE WHERE YOU ALL LAND THIS YEAR, BUT DON"T BE AFRAID TO PLAY OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONES WITH RIVALS AND ENEMIES OF OLD" Seeker folds his hands together with a grin of mischief his unblinking wide eyes encapturing his audience.
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Homer afraid to break eye contact slowly reaches his hands down his pants to scratch his balls.

"COME BACK AT 8 PM TONIGHT FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF TEAMS!!!" NOW VAMOS!!!" Seeker makes a wild gesture with his arms towards the exit and the crowd groans with the effort of lifting their legs from the ground.

after hours of mindless ambition, scheming, and wasting their money on booze and slots, the folk of Myth 2 meander back into the hall slightly more jovial and alive than before fueled by the spark of alcohol and fried apps.

"WELCOME BACK MY FRIENDS!" "I HAVE HERE YOUR FINAL TEAMS!!!!" MINUS OFCOURSE FUTURE CHANGES AND SUBS AND ALL OF YOU ALWAYS DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT AND IGNORING THE RULES COMPLETELY!!! YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE FUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR INSOLENCE HAS LEFT ME NO CHOICE YOU SUBHUMAN SCUM!

Suddenly the lights dim and then go out, and the slam of the hall doors boom across the room.
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Confused grunts are heard across the room along with scattered whimpers. And then dead silence in the dark for a second, wait it must be a power outage. Seeker put us up in a shitty hotel again, with the Thrall Councils dues, he was just lining his pockets as usual with the excess cash, most people thought.

Echoes the sound of the walls moving...inward.

Spikes grow out of the sides barbed and iron, "THE FUCKER HAS FINALLY LOST IT" Zak proclaims!
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"I've never seen anyone but my mom naked!" LSO cries out in his last moments of horror, urine smelling of smuggled beers he knocked off Jahral soaking his pants.

"NOT LIKE THIS, NOT LIKE THIS!" Ghengis yells as he grabs a chair and throws it against the doors in a desperate effort to escape.
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"BREAK IT DOWN!!" Yells Kirk kicking madly at the doors, but they are indeed quadruple hinged steel with locking bars behind them, in fact it dawns on the Myth crowd that this Best Western Hotel slash Casino was made specifically for killing moderate-sized groups. And is booked by Jeff Bezos every other weekend.


"SEEKER YOU"LL PAY FOR THIS! YOU WON"T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU SAID YOU LIKED MY STATUE PRIZE!!!"" Limp sobs.

Kirk, Ratking, Kilgrath and Tirri grab Cruniac by the shirt and use him as a human battering ram to take down the doors. BOOM. BOOM. BOOOM. They shudder and shake but just don't come loose.
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A spike snags Father Xmas on the shirt as the crowd is pushed more and more into the center of the room. Another spike impales Babyshaker through the neck, who inexplicably does not move away from the walls....

Homer looks up, ever observant noticed that the ceilings are drop ceilings. HOT SAUCE COME HERE, GET ON ONE ANOTHERs SHOULDERS - WE MUST CLIMB OUT. I REFUSE TO LET SEEKR WIN MWC LIKE THIS.

Team Hot Sauce builds a human ladder and crawls into the ceiling, another helpless scream shrieks out as CU pushes Blade into a spike wall, hoping no one would notice...

RUN! RUN! AND GET HELP! East Wind charges ahead but instead of finding help he stumbles across the power mechanism and quickly jams a steel wrench in the gears. ERGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dumph. The machine stops and cheers go up from the Best Western Banquet Hall, in Las Vegas.

Relief followed quickly by rage pours over the Myth 2 Congregation. Seeker was foiled again, MWC 2020 would not be his for such an easy taking, but Trow Council called an emergency meeting to discuss one thing, and one thing only. An insatiable taste for revenge.

Scratch held an empty can of pringles, "that mother fucker is gonna pay with his life!"

"Did you finish those pringles while we all almost died?' WWO asked.
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Seeker
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Re: MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by Seeker »

Well played HotSAUCE. You foiled me in the hotel.

Or was this really my plan all along, to get you all to bond with each other through a crushing fear of a brush with near death. This bond, now forged, by the fires of a near death experience will allow you to team with old bitter rivals and friends alike to create new and exciting MWC configurations.

I look forward to seeing you all try to win the tournament, escape Las Vegas alive, and overthrow my tyranny.

Lord---Scary Owl
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Re: MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by Lord---Scary Owl »

Another fantastic Homer article.
Or is it really Homer's?
I heard rumors that it was seeker all along pretending to be homer, and that hurts.

garnish
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Re: MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by garnish »

Screen Shot 2020-06-02 at 3.26.20 PM.jpg
Screen Shot 2020-06-02 at 3.26.20 PM.jpg (13.56 KiB) Viewed 318 times

wwo
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Re: MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by wwo »

another summer ruined
i cri evry tim

V\JaHRaL TOADV\
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Re: MWC 2020 - Great Turn Out

Post by V\JaHRaL TOADV\ »

thought this was great. It should be expanded to include more of the myth community. JaHRal has enough beer. I thought LSO peed himself but his excuse was that i spilled my beer on his pants? okay, i guess that works. Cruniac would say they should have used JaHRaL TOADs head as a battering ram instead of his. I am much more hard headed than him. Tears prolly gushed out from Cruniac like the front of the battering ram had a box of wet kleenix on it. JahRal went to shake the hands of a LIMP Bisquitter but it was like shaking a wet sloppy old dish rag and suddenly Limps whole body was being shaken around like a rag doll. I would apologize . I did not know the guy was so soft he would ban from posting like a cry baby. Then is the corner Asmo had LSO in a headlock but LSO was still trying to rip him a new asmo and none of us could tell which way it was going. Clank and Jah stood toe to toe like the prizefighters they are.. Eyeing each other up but neither of them flinching. The undercard fighters for the match did complain of having a few butterflies in their stomachs but were told it was normal for tinhorns. Jeoku and Bridgestone started selling popcorn to those who just wanted to watch the drama. Garnish made a fortune taking bets from all you drunk myther frkrs.. yeah i am talking to you.. come @ me bros.. Jah hahahah

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