Adrenaline in 2017: The Ultimate Bursting of the Proverbial Glass Bubble (The True Story of GKG and NC)
Posted: 19 Jun 2017, 08:21
An Introduction
I confess to the myth community, I am a sucker for writing articles about people who must eat their own words in truly epic fashion. And so here I am with another article, my 3rd article in a series about unbelievable levels of delusion in the myth community. And like my first article about WTC members thinking they could win MWC16 handily right before losing badly - and like my second article about Kilgrath clinging for years to the notion that the myth community should abandon the GoS server to stick with the mariusnet server exclusively right before that website and server both went down permanently - we now have another contender today for possibly the most delusional myther ever.
This new article about the next biggest delusion in myth ever has been in the making for a whopping 7 years. So please allow me some time to properly frame this story to give it its due justice that is commensurate with the enormous gravity of the implications in its unraveling.
To open with, I would like to reiterate what I originally started with nearly a year ago in this whole article series about epic delusions in myth, because I find it especially relevant here and now again:
For those unaware, there has been a bit of a disagreement brewing between Adrenaline and I in another thread recently (as seen here in the "best modern trower" thread).
The brunt of the disagreement is over the nature of my leaving NC just before mwc2010. Putting all the nitty gritty details aside, the question we are trying to answer here is quite simply this:
Did GKG leave NC in 2010 voluntarily, or involuntarily?
Now, that may sound like a stupid argument. And that’s mostly because it is.
However, there is also an important reason why this argument has been recurring for so long between adrenaline and I. Behind the argument, there is a very dramatic story of love and hate that goes back a whole whopping 7 years. It is a story that begins with former mything brothers-in-arms fighting alongside one another. And it ends with a bitter betrayal that turns these former brothers against one another, setting the stage for them to fight each other to the bitter end for years afterward (these mything brothers being between the rest of NC and I - never between adren and I, mind you).
The Background Story Behind GKG and NC
You see, most of NC and I had many good times together during my year playing with them from early 2009 to early 2010. After all, we handily won 3 tournaments and started the NC dynasty together. So, of course, we had tons of fun doing that. But that all changed abruptly when I left NC just prior to mwc2010.
By mwc2010, NC and I were at each other’s throats – especially between adren, EW (still with NC at the time), and I.
So how could things turn so dark so fast? What the hell happened? Clearly there must have been a big falling out, but how?
This argument over how I left – whether voluntarily or involuntarily - is what happened. It was like flaring tensions with a very recent ex over who broke up with who that would just not allow either side to walk away from the relationship peacefully.
It all started in mwc2010 when this argument came up for the very first time – almost certainly by adrenaline himself. I was already gone from NC by then, but for the first time I was accused of being a bad apple – toxic poison to the team, and therefore was removed involuntarily (whether kicked, or denied future request, or whatever). And this was all done publicly – never a wimper of side-discussion between NC and I first over any of this before this very dirty laundry got aired out publicly. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, this served as a warning to the other teams – do not team with GKG – he is bad news, and a toxic poison to any team. It was like your very recent ex broadcasting to the world through social media what a terrible person you were to them. That you abused them even - and it wasn't true.
My very mything career was at stake. I was in danger of becoming the next raziel or flatline of myth – a social pariah and laughing stock of the community that can never get on any top team ever again. And they very well may have succeeded for that year since I did not get onto the other finalist team that I wanted to join to compete against NC (I was given an invite by Homer that I did not immediately accept to wait and see how teams further panned out, and the offer was later rescinded about 2-3 weeks later, though the only reason given to me by Homer was that the roster was too full then). 2010 would end up being one of only 2 mwc's that I did not really participate in since 2000 - the only other one missed being 2006 due to a deployment to Iraq (at most, I may missed 1 more even earlier, but I'm not sure). And it could have had a lot to do with this story being put out there about me.
My reputation was at stake. So of course, I had no choice but to defend myself.
And so the bad blood began, building up more and more, getting uglier and uglier, for over a year until it came to a climax in the mwc11 finals with bullz soundly defeating NC (another proof that yes indeed, NC cared a great deal for the mwc11 finals, unlike another adren delusion being spewed in yet another recent thread). The high pressure valve was finally released.
But although NC lay resolutely defeated, disbanded, and destroyed, over the years the argument over how I left NC and the bad blood that accompanied it remained. Usually it only came up from time to time from adrenaline when we got into our usual forum spats. But eventually other haters of mine from outside of NC, such as kilgrath and paris, would hop onto the bandwagon as well from time to time by regurgitating the original story spread about me being removed from NC for being a toxic teammate.
It was clear that this story was still not going away.
The Big Mystery – Who Betrayed Who? And who is the Liar?
There has been a lot of bad blood spilt over the years over this argument. Both sides feel betrayed by one another. But only one story can really be true. So what really happened? Who really betrayed who?
Did I betray NC by being a doucher which forced their hand to remove me from their team involuntarily?
Or did NC betray me instead by making up that story about me betraying them after I had kindly left them on my own accord peacefully and voluntarily to pursue my own mything interests?
And between adren and I, which one of us has been pushing the same lie for over 7 years now?
This is the big mystery story at hand that has been built up and up over the years. For the 7 years that this argument has come up between adren and I (or others on his behalf) I made little effort to try to get someone from NC to clear my name by confirming my side of the story. After all, I know they are all still friends with adren, and who knows, maybe some bad blood lingers? How could I know what they might say after all these years, or how they still felt about me after all that bad blood has happened? Maybe they would side with adren just to spite me? And then I would be worse off from where I started, with everyone thinking I was the liar. Or maybe they just wouldn’t remember? Or maybe I would be doing more harm digging up old hard feelings that had already long been laid to rest? And who cares anyway, right?
And so the mystery remained unsolved for 7 years.
Until now.
Now, after hearing this made up story for the hundredth time from adren, and now after seeing how 7+ years later he still has not let it go, I have finally decided to just get this thing over with and put it to rest once and for all. I need to clear my name. I need to warn the rest of the community about the extent of adren’s delusions. I need to make one last attempt to fix it with some former NC members who may have been misinformed, uninformed, forgot, or were otherwise caught up in the drama at the time along with the rest of us, and lost sight of the truth of how this all really went down in the first place. And finally, I need to make one last sincere goodbye to NC to end things the way they should have ended, the way I tried to end them responsibly all those years ago, but was robbed of the chance to do so by one bitter, malicious, and deluded individual who has still not let go of any of it even to this day.
So I have a mystery I need someone to solve to the public for me. Who can we ask to solve this mystery for us?
The Only Man Left Who Can Solve the Mystery - East Wind
Only maybe 5 people could even possibly know the answer to the questions surrounding this mystery: myself, shaister, cu, ew, and adren. Actually, really only 4 people would be the best to know the answer to these questions – myself and the 3 NC members that I was closest with at the time (shaister, cu, and ew). But okay, let’s include adren just because he is the primary one making the argument in the first place, because he could have conceivably heard about what happened from talking with shai, cu, or ew (he could not have heard it from me as we did not talk), and because, at least according to his side of the story, he was part of the inner NC discussions about removing me (again, according to his side of the story).
Obviously Adren and I are the two people already holding opposing viewpoints on this story, and we both have the most conflicts of interest in pushing our own side of things since we have always disliked one another and have different biases and motivations here. So we need one of the other 3 people to help reveal which one of us is lying.
Shaister and Cu have never publicly said anything about the circumstances of my departure from NC that I can remember (anyone feel free to correct me on this), even despite some of my early requests for them to do so to clear my name. At least, they didn't do it in any absolutely certain terms that would squash this issue. They have also been mostly inactive since 2011, and I have not been on talking terms with either of them since my departure from NC.
That leaves East Wind (a.k.a. ew, a.k.a edubs) as the only one left. And EW is in the unique position of having been perhaps the second most vocal proponent (behind adren) that was supporting adren’s side of the story during its mosted heated year or 2 at the beginning. EW and I have also reconciled long ago in 2013 when we started teaming again. So he remains friends with both adren and I to this day. Surely, he can be the most informed and objective 3rd party to solve this mystery for us. And in fact, without shaister and cu, EW is in a position where he is the only one left that can solve it to reveal the truth.
So today, I finally caught up with EW, and brought up this discussion with him. And luckily for me, EW and I had a very thorough and candid conversation about these events from 7 years ago, and everyone’s role in them. And I have screenshotted the entire conversation as proof, which I will share shortly. You can probably guess roughly what EW is going to have to say judging by the fact that I am writing this article and not adren. However, before we get into the juicy details of these long-hidden truths, let’s get just a quick refresher by quickly going over some of the things that adren has just recently put on record about our positions on this story so we have some context for the discussion between EW and I.
The Recent Statements on Record from Adrenaline the Accuser
In a moment, I am going to let EW do all the talking for me with my conversation with him, so there is no point in reiterating what I have recently stated. But instead, let’s just go over some of the statements that Adren has put out there regarding this story, all of this recently (in the last few days) from the “best modern trower?” thread. Here are just some highlights from adren in his back-and-forth with me that are pertinent to this discussion. Also note how incredibly confident adren is in his side of the story, consistently doubling down again and again.
And how did adren respond when I informed him that I would be getting EW’s side of the story? Was there any concern on his part as to the credibility of EW?
The True Story of GKG and NC
Before I begin, let me just pause briefly to express a similar sentiment that I expressed to kilgrath years ago right before I tore his delusion to pieces, except I will reiterate it now with a subtle revision to address adren directly:
Okay, now here we go – the climax 7 years in the making, with the juicy details of the TRUE STORY of GKG and NC. Let’s take a trip down memory lane in a thorough and candid conversation between GKG and EW to finally solve this 7-year old mystery once and for all.
This conversation is shared with the expressed permission of East Wind.
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The conversation continues on discord...
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And so what is the final answer here? Did I leave NC? Or was I “voted” and denied out? Who betrayed who? And who is lying?
In the words of EW below, while talking to me (inserting some words in italics below for clearer context, see the above screenshots the for original text):
Making Sense of it All by Dissecting The Deluded Mind
Finally, at long last, after 7 years, I am vindicated. Unquestionably, EW’s language was strong, candid, and decisive in fully supporting my side of the story and to the detriment of adren’s. And he is the one person who is positioned to know this issue the best, being from both my side and NC's side of things, including my time just prior to joining NC in mwc08 when we actually did request to join NC and were denied. Furthermore, EW is someone that adren himself acknowledges would be a relevant authority on this issue.
So how could adren be so astronomically wrong about so much for so long? Did he lie consciously? How was he so confident in his lies, and consistently doubling down on his lies? How did this massive bubble of delusion get so big without popping? What happened to bring us to this point of extreme delusion?
I think it is likely a mix of four points, each with their own important lessons to be derived from this:
1) Lies are a very tricky thing.
As we well know, a lie can be told over and over again until it becomes the deluded, false truth in the mind of the liar. And if I had to guess, that is probably partially what happened here. He probably knew he was lying in the beginning, and convinced himself later or otherwise got caught up in the drama and forgot that he originally lied in the first place.
2) I am inside Adren's head..badly
I have been screwing with adren’s mind since the beginning of our long rivalry in myth history. I have basically always been inside adren’s head. And this has likely culminated in his weak mind having to resort to defense mechanisms, which includes distorting and repressing painful memories. It must have bothered him a lot that I got along so fabulously with his NC friends, and had so much success being one of the premier players on the team. So this was his way of getting payback (whether consciously or unconsciously). Because I have been messing around in adren's head for so long, along with that jealousy just brewing in his head as well, his psyche has manifested a deeply seated need for not only him to view me in some negative way to help validate himself, but he actually needs the whole world to view me the same way he does to validate his feelings. Namely, he needs the world to see me as "abrasive" (as he kept repeating over and over again throughout this argument), or as he put it one time:
3) Adren's subconscious defense mechanisms have mixed the truth with lies to make it easier to delude himself
Part of adren’s memories are actually likely to be true – particularly as they relate to mwc08 when EW and I actually did request to join NC and were actually denied (another reason why EW is the perfect guy to know about this situation and clear up the mystery). However, it is also obvious that he borrowed those otherwise true memories from an earlier period of time, and the psychological defense mechanisms of his subconscious mind wove a convenient narrative to protect his fragile psyche, and it also mixed it in with some other memories that don’t make any sense. Hence, EW and I can make some sense of the flaw in his thinking, confusing mwc08 with mwc10, but some other things adren says doesn’t make any sense at all. A whole psychological case study could be done on adren’s flawed state of mind.
As EW acknowledged (and I agreed to some extent):
While I hold no ill will towards NC anymore, much like I didn’t at the time of my leaving them before this whole mess started, I must say that the thing that really makes this the perfect storm of events that allows this big lie to continue on for 7+ years is that no one on NC (either shai, ska, or cu) simply stepped in to briefly debunk the bad story being told by adren. I understand most of those guys avoid any forum drama, and don’t want to take sides, especially against one of their own teammates (even if it was a lie), but really even just the smallest intervention on their part at any point in the years afterward could have reeled in this fake story and would have put an end to it quite quickly before it spun so far out of control in adren’s head and could continue to influence my relationship with NC. It was also unfortunate that they were the only ones in a position to debunk it. And it was further unfortunate that many of them went inactive soon after. Did they allow the lie to continue because they didn’t mind it either? Did they just not want to hurt adren? Or did they just not know, care, or remember? Who knows. We may never know.
It may be tempting for some to feel sorry for adren right about now. But let’s not forget that this is a grown man who stuck to a lie for 7 years out of spite.
Now at long last the community can come to the complete and full realization of the motivations behind the two actors (adren and I) in this conflict over the last 7 years.
It is clear that I care about this because the truth is on my side, and my good name has been smeared with the same lies for going on 7 years now, and was continuing to be smeared. And also because an unjust, imaginary wedge was being forced between some of my former friends and I.
And it is also clear that adren cares about this because it is convenient to his ego, convenient to maintaining his deluded worldview, and it is convenient to smear his enemies with his lies.
Who is the sociopath now, adren? Who is the crazy, deluded, bitter person who stuck to a lie for 7 years? Might it be you?
Did I convince one or two people yet, adren?
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To close with, another statement I gave to Kilgrath when I popped his delusional bubble years ago that also applies almost perfectly here again to address adren:
Dear NC (and in particular, Shaister, Ska, and Cu),
Maybe none of you read this. Maybe none of you care even if you do read it. But since I am on the subject, and just in case someone does read it and does care, allow me to share a few things.
I don’t know anything that happened on the NC side of things after I left. But it is my great fear now that adren may have poisoned some minds over the years behind my back with his deluded rhetoric full of lies about me such as this. Despite my long rivalry with adren, I never could fathom that possibility before. But now the full realization that adren has truly been so extremely and consistently deluded for over 7 years leaves me to believe that now anything is possible in his past actions. So just in case something like that may have happened, there are just a few things that I want you to know directly from me.
First, I want you all to know that I genuinely wished and very sincerely hoped for the best for NC when I departed, and that I held no ill will in my heart towards any of you at the time. My only intention for leaving was to help create some more competitive opponents for you guys (which is perhaps also partly why ghengis left at the same time), and to take a more prominent and independent role as a captain and strategist for another team.
Second, I know I criticized ska’s captaining at times. I know I criticized shaister’s strategizing at times. But I criticized them only in the same way that I criticize everyone's captaining and strategizing. And I also never, ever questioned their value as players, or as people. I know I was being a bit of a pain in the ass at the time because I was going through a transitionary period in my myth life where I had a chip on my shoulder, eager to prove to the myth world that I knew how to captain and strategize. But that’s all it really was. There was never any hard feelings outside the false beef created by this mess.
Third, the reason I am so certain that my conscious was clean with NC when I left is because I was truly and utterly shocked, taken aback, and flabbergasted when this false story was put out for the first time about me soon after I left. I did not expect it at all. I genuinely thought we would remain friends. And although it was almost certainly started by adren acting alone, the rest of NC's silence at the time spoke volumes to me. You may not have intended it that way, and it doesn't matter anymore even if you did, but that is how I received it. So if I reacted poorly at the time, which I am certain I did, then that is a large reason why. If there was something I could have done better when I left to prevent it, I apologize. But to this day I am still not sure what that might be. I know I may have been a slight pain at times, but I genuinely tried to part ways with the team in the most peaceful, responsible, and least dramatic way possible.
If you remember it happening any differently back then, feel free to share where I am wrong. But I want you to know that that is the god to honest truth from my end of things. Don’t let anyone else tell you different. I wouldn’t lie to you about it this many years later. A lot of drama started right afterward, and the lies distorted a lot of things, both directly and indirectly. And I think we all just lost sight of the original truth to some degree – the original truth being that we actually parted ways on good terms (at least as far as I knew, and I think as far as most people knew).
Looking back on it all now, it bothers me that adren has had such an undue influence on determining the direction of our relationship after we parted ways by starting this lie. I am not exactly sure how it became such a massive success in hijacking that relationship, and I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. But I find myself thinking that maybe there is still something that can still yet be done to undo some of the damage in some small way. Maybe I can do that something with this letter.
If it doesn’t bother you like it bothers me, or you can’t see this situation my way because adren is your friend, or for any other reason, then I guess it just is what it is and it wasn’t meant to be anyway. And that’s fine.
But if it does bother you like it bothers me too, and you can see it my way, then who knows, maybe we can run into each other again someday. It may be too late to myth together ever again, but we still have our good memories. And I still wish you all the best of luck in your personal lives. And even if we don't ever speak to each other again, let this letter squash whatever remaining beef we may have, or ever had with one another once and for all to wipe our collective conscious clean of it forever. Whatever it was, it wasn't worth it.
Sincerely,
GKG
SPECIAL THANKS
A special thank you to East Wind for granting me this candid conversation which finally completely exonerates me at long last once and for all. EW – I know you are friends with adren, and I respect that. If I used our conversation in any way that was not what you expected or would have liked because it beats up on adren too much, then I apologize and hope you will forgive me. But I also trust that you understand that after 7 years I deserve this truth to come out so that the lies can stop once and for all.
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This concludes my total annihilation of MYTH'S BIGGEST LIE EVER. After 7 years it is finally dead once and for all.
The End.
P.S. – Everyone can see my other 2 articles covering some of the other most delusional events in myth history in the links below:
1) Syn/WTC in 2016: The Bursting of the Proverbial Glass Bubble
2) GoS vs Mariusnet - A Case Study in Myth Power Struggles
I confess to the myth community, I am a sucker for writing articles about people who must eat their own words in truly epic fashion. And so here I am with another article, my 3rd article in a series about unbelievable levels of delusion in the myth community. And like my first article about WTC members thinking they could win MWC16 handily right before losing badly - and like my second article about Kilgrath clinging for years to the notion that the myth community should abandon the GoS server to stick with the mariusnet server exclusively right before that website and server both went down permanently - we now have another contender today for possibly the most delusional myther ever.
This new article about the next biggest delusion in myth ever has been in the making for a whopping 7 years. So please allow me some time to properly frame this story to give it its due justice that is commensurate with the enormous gravity of the implications in its unraveling.
To open with, I would like to reiterate what I originally started with nearly a year ago in this whole article series about epic delusions in myth, because I find it especially relevant here and now again:
Now with that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the next subject of epic myth delusions - Adrenaline.Giant Killer General wrote:In any kind of competitive tournament, there is often a verbal/written exchange between competitors. Sometimes these exchanges are good-natured fun, sometimes they are part of the mental battle prior / during a competitive match, and sometimes they can get quite ugly. Given the incredibly competitive nature of myth, we have clearly seen many of these kinds of exchanges over the last nearly 2 decades of competitive myth tournaments.
However what is universally common in all of these exchanges, is that competitors almost always “stay in their lane” with these exchanges, meaning they tend to only talk what they can back up. Only a rare few times do we bear witness to those who talk what they clearly cannot back up; where astronomical levels of confidence are boasted only to fall like a house of cards later; where words that may have appeared bold and courageous before are later eaten as their illusionary hoax is dispelled.
These are rare indeed given their incredibly high chance to demonstrate unintentional delusion at worst, or intentional con-act at best, resulting in embarrassing social blunders. Most people understand not to take such risks with their reputation, but witnessing such gross miscalculations are fun times indeed for everyone on the outside looking in.
For those unaware, there has been a bit of a disagreement brewing between Adrenaline and I in another thread recently (as seen here in the "best modern trower" thread).
The brunt of the disagreement is over the nature of my leaving NC just before mwc2010. Putting all the nitty gritty details aside, the question we are trying to answer here is quite simply this:
Did GKG leave NC in 2010 voluntarily, or involuntarily?
Now, that may sound like a stupid argument. And that’s mostly because it is.
However, there is also an important reason why this argument has been recurring for so long between adrenaline and I. Behind the argument, there is a very dramatic story of love and hate that goes back a whole whopping 7 years. It is a story that begins with former mything brothers-in-arms fighting alongside one another. And it ends with a bitter betrayal that turns these former brothers against one another, setting the stage for them to fight each other to the bitter end for years afterward (these mything brothers being between the rest of NC and I - never between adren and I, mind you).
The Background Story Behind GKG and NC
You see, most of NC and I had many good times together during my year playing with them from early 2009 to early 2010. After all, we handily won 3 tournaments and started the NC dynasty together. So, of course, we had tons of fun doing that. But that all changed abruptly when I left NC just prior to mwc2010.
By mwc2010, NC and I were at each other’s throats – especially between adren, EW (still with NC at the time), and I.
So how could things turn so dark so fast? What the hell happened? Clearly there must have been a big falling out, but how?
This argument over how I left – whether voluntarily or involuntarily - is what happened. It was like flaring tensions with a very recent ex over who broke up with who that would just not allow either side to walk away from the relationship peacefully.
It all started in mwc2010 when this argument came up for the very first time – almost certainly by adrenaline himself. I was already gone from NC by then, but for the first time I was accused of being a bad apple – toxic poison to the team, and therefore was removed involuntarily (whether kicked, or denied future request, or whatever). And this was all done publicly – never a wimper of side-discussion between NC and I first over any of this before this very dirty laundry got aired out publicly. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, this served as a warning to the other teams – do not team with GKG – he is bad news, and a toxic poison to any team. It was like your very recent ex broadcasting to the world through social media what a terrible person you were to them. That you abused them even - and it wasn't true.
My very mything career was at stake. I was in danger of becoming the next raziel or flatline of myth – a social pariah and laughing stock of the community that can never get on any top team ever again. And they very well may have succeeded for that year since I did not get onto the other finalist team that I wanted to join to compete against NC (I was given an invite by Homer that I did not immediately accept to wait and see how teams further panned out, and the offer was later rescinded about 2-3 weeks later, though the only reason given to me by Homer was that the roster was too full then). 2010 would end up being one of only 2 mwc's that I did not really participate in since 2000 - the only other one missed being 2006 due to a deployment to Iraq (at most, I may missed 1 more even earlier, but I'm not sure). And it could have had a lot to do with this story being put out there about me.
My reputation was at stake. So of course, I had no choice but to defend myself.
And so the bad blood began, building up more and more, getting uglier and uglier, for over a year until it came to a climax in the mwc11 finals with bullz soundly defeating NC (another proof that yes indeed, NC cared a great deal for the mwc11 finals, unlike another adren delusion being spewed in yet another recent thread). The high pressure valve was finally released.
But although NC lay resolutely defeated, disbanded, and destroyed, over the years the argument over how I left NC and the bad blood that accompanied it remained. Usually it only came up from time to time from adrenaline when we got into our usual forum spats. But eventually other haters of mine from outside of NC, such as kilgrath and paris, would hop onto the bandwagon as well from time to time by regurgitating the original story spread about me being removed from NC for being a toxic teammate.
It was clear that this story was still not going away.
The Big Mystery – Who Betrayed Who? And who is the Liar?
There has been a lot of bad blood spilt over the years over this argument. Both sides feel betrayed by one another. But only one story can really be true. So what really happened? Who really betrayed who?
Did I betray NC by being a doucher which forced their hand to remove me from their team involuntarily?
Or did NC betray me instead by making up that story about me betraying them after I had kindly left them on my own accord peacefully and voluntarily to pursue my own mything interests?
And between adren and I, which one of us has been pushing the same lie for over 7 years now?
This is the big mystery story at hand that has been built up and up over the years. For the 7 years that this argument has come up between adren and I (or others on his behalf) I made little effort to try to get someone from NC to clear my name by confirming my side of the story. After all, I know they are all still friends with adren, and who knows, maybe some bad blood lingers? How could I know what they might say after all these years, or how they still felt about me after all that bad blood has happened? Maybe they would side with adren just to spite me? And then I would be worse off from where I started, with everyone thinking I was the liar. Or maybe they just wouldn’t remember? Or maybe I would be doing more harm digging up old hard feelings that had already long been laid to rest? And who cares anyway, right?
And so the mystery remained unsolved for 7 years.
Until now.
Now, after hearing this made up story for the hundredth time from adren, and now after seeing how 7+ years later he still has not let it go, I have finally decided to just get this thing over with and put it to rest once and for all. I need to clear my name. I need to warn the rest of the community about the extent of adren’s delusions. I need to make one last attempt to fix it with some former NC members who may have been misinformed, uninformed, forgot, or were otherwise caught up in the drama at the time along with the rest of us, and lost sight of the truth of how this all really went down in the first place. And finally, I need to make one last sincere goodbye to NC to end things the way they should have ended, the way I tried to end them responsibly all those years ago, but was robbed of the chance to do so by one bitter, malicious, and deluded individual who has still not let go of any of it even to this day.
So I have a mystery I need someone to solve to the public for me. Who can we ask to solve this mystery for us?
The Only Man Left Who Can Solve the Mystery - East Wind
Only maybe 5 people could even possibly know the answer to the questions surrounding this mystery: myself, shaister, cu, ew, and adren. Actually, really only 4 people would be the best to know the answer to these questions – myself and the 3 NC members that I was closest with at the time (shaister, cu, and ew). But okay, let’s include adren just because he is the primary one making the argument in the first place, because he could have conceivably heard about what happened from talking with shai, cu, or ew (he could not have heard it from me as we did not talk), and because, at least according to his side of the story, he was part of the inner NC discussions about removing me (again, according to his side of the story).
Obviously Adren and I are the two people already holding opposing viewpoints on this story, and we both have the most conflicts of interest in pushing our own side of things since we have always disliked one another and have different biases and motivations here. So we need one of the other 3 people to help reveal which one of us is lying.
Shaister and Cu have never publicly said anything about the circumstances of my departure from NC that I can remember (anyone feel free to correct me on this), even despite some of my early requests for them to do so to clear my name. At least, they didn't do it in any absolutely certain terms that would squash this issue. They have also been mostly inactive since 2011, and I have not been on talking terms with either of them since my departure from NC.
That leaves East Wind (a.k.a. ew, a.k.a edubs) as the only one left. And EW is in the unique position of having been perhaps the second most vocal proponent (behind adren) that was supporting adren’s side of the story during its mosted heated year or 2 at the beginning. EW and I have also reconciled long ago in 2013 when we started teaming again. So he remains friends with both adren and I to this day. Surely, he can be the most informed and objective 3rd party to solve this mystery for us. And in fact, without shaister and cu, EW is in a position where he is the only one left that can solve it to reveal the truth.
So today, I finally caught up with EW, and brought up this discussion with him. And luckily for me, EW and I had a very thorough and candid conversation about these events from 7 years ago, and everyone’s role in them. And I have screenshotted the entire conversation as proof, which I will share shortly. You can probably guess roughly what EW is going to have to say judging by the fact that I am writing this article and not adren. However, before we get into the juicy details of these long-hidden truths, let’s get just a quick refresher by quickly going over some of the things that adren has just recently put on record about our positions on this story so we have some context for the discussion between EW and I.
The Recent Statements on Record from Adrenaline the Accuser
In a moment, I am going to let EW do all the talking for me with my conversation with him, so there is no point in reiterating what I have recently stated. But instead, let’s just go over some of the statements that Adren has put out there regarding this story, all of this recently (in the last few days) from the “best modern trower?” thread. Here are just some highlights from adren in his back-and-forth with me that are pertinent to this discussion. Also note how incredibly confident adren is in his side of the story, consistently doubling down again and again.
adrenaline wrote:I like how you make statements like this in all your posts regarding NC though... probably because you know that no one else from that team is around to dispute it except me. I mean, if you were such an important factor, why did we decline your attempts to join in 2010? Oh right... because nobody wanted you on the team...
adrenaline wrote:You tried to join in 2010 and the team voted against you... deny it all you want, but that's exactly how it happened. As far as me forgetting about you being on the NML10 roster... who fucking cares. It was a shit tournament that nobody remembers anyway.
adrenaline wrote:Again, you were not "kicked"... I have already stated that. You were never considered a core member, so it was never assumed that you were "still on" any successive roster after MWC09. You were not invited back in 2010, but you did try to join. We did not want you. I clear remember the team talking about it in our private forums at a higher level. Only a few of us had access to these admin forums... myself, ska, shai, and ew (later removed when he left the team because that's where all the dirt was and internal team discussions took place). We unanimously did not want you because you are an abrasive person (except maybe ska who didn't care either way). You are like that typical cancerous know-it-all kid on any multiplayer game that thinks he is better than everyone else and never shuts the fuck up about it. Those mentioned have never been avid posters and are probably too nice to publicly shit on you, but I really don't give a fuck so here I am. Call me a liar all you want, because that's just what you've always done -- deflect, deflect, deflect.
Basically, this summarizes adren’s feeling about this:adrenaline wrote:It was a freeforums.org site and expired many years ago... how the fuck there be a record of this? And clearly YOU give a shit about stuff that happened years ago because you keep writing endless posts about it. I wouldn't throw those names into the mix if I was fucking lying about it, idiot. There is no confusion on my end, homie... the only one confused here is whoever happens to be reading your fanciful bullshit.
Yikes.adrenaline wrote:You TRIED to join and were FUCKING DENIED because you were(are) an ABRASIVE DOUCHEBAG. End of fucking story.
And how did adren respond when I informed him that I would be getting EW’s side of the story? Was there any concern on his part as to the credibility of EW?
adrenaline wrote:And by all means, get EW to weigh in on this. I'm sure we all look forward to a neutral response from one of myth's nicest players as much as he'll enjoy being put in the situation.
You expressed interest in playing for NC again, in MWC2010. We expressed disinterest in having you for play for NC again, in MWC2010.
Now I eagerly await your long-winded response about my claims of you trying to pay off members of NC to add you to the roster only to have your credit card declined, or some such nonsense. I'm sure you'll come up with something good.
adrenaline wrote:Giant Killer General wrote:So why wouldn't any of them back you up on your story to help you out?No. I was there and know what happened. They were also there and know what happened. Whether they actually care to read/respond about something that happened 7 yrs ago and nobody (present company included) gives a fuck about is their decision to make.Giant Killer General wrote:In all these years of talking shit with this story, did you even once bother to ask ew, cu, or shaister about it to see if it was actually true? I bet not.
That used to be true for a long time adren. And it is what allowed you to get away with your story for so long. But now, the silence is over.adrenaline wrote:that's funny I don't see anybody jumping in to back up your claims either. Silence works both ways dude.
The True Story of GKG and NC
Before I begin, let me just pause briefly to express a similar sentiment that I expressed to kilgrath years ago right before I tore his delusion to pieces, except I will reiterate it now with a subtle revision to address adren directly:
And let me also reiterate to adren the last thing I told him before I posted this article:Giant Killer General wrote: So adren, you think I left NC involuntarily? oooohhhh REAAAALLLLLYYYY...
oh sweet mother of god I am going to have fun with you right now.
I wasn’t finished with you yet adren. But I am soon about to be.Giant Killer General wrote:oh I bet you would like to look for the door out of this one adren right when you are cornered, but you just standby, I am not finished with you yet.
Okay, now here we go – the climax 7 years in the making, with the juicy details of the TRUE STORY of GKG and NC. Let’s take a trip down memory lane in a thorough and candid conversation between GKG and EW to finally solve this 7-year old mystery once and for all.
This conversation is shared with the expressed permission of East Wind.
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The conversation continues on discord...
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And so what is the final answer here? Did I leave NC? Or was I “voted” and denied out? Who betrayed who? And who is lying?
In the words of EW below, while talking to me (inserting some words in italics below for clearer context, see the above screenshots the for original text):
East Wind wrote: okay so basically you left on your own because I believe you wanted more of a challenge. I think we got offended by that so we got pissed at you…but that was after (you left)
…I think adren is confusing something btw as well – I don’t think you asked to join us in 2010
…we def had bad blood in 2010 (after you left) so it doesn’t make sense why u would wanna play with us
to be honest I think it happened like this you were getting bored and ud sit out some games because you thought it was unfair – i remember getting pissed at shit like that – so it started but no where near the level it go to after you left
so annoyance but not bad blood (before you left)
culminating in 2011
and then we squashed it
I don’t think I was objective during when we had beef
But now I can look at it without bias
Making Sense of it All by Dissecting The Deluded Mind
Finally, at long last, after 7 years, I am vindicated. Unquestionably, EW’s language was strong, candid, and decisive in fully supporting my side of the story and to the detriment of adren’s. And he is the one person who is positioned to know this issue the best, being from both my side and NC's side of things, including my time just prior to joining NC in mwc08 when we actually did request to join NC and were denied. Furthermore, EW is someone that adren himself acknowledges would be a relevant authority on this issue.
So how could adren be so astronomically wrong about so much for so long? Did he lie consciously? How was he so confident in his lies, and consistently doubling down on his lies? How did this massive bubble of delusion get so big without popping? What happened to bring us to this point of extreme delusion?
I think it is likely a mix of four points, each with their own important lessons to be derived from this:
1) Lies are a very tricky thing.
As we well know, a lie can be told over and over again until it becomes the deluded, false truth in the mind of the liar. And if I had to guess, that is probably partially what happened here. He probably knew he was lying in the beginning, and convinced himself later or otherwise got caught up in the drama and forgot that he originally lied in the first place.
2) I am inside Adren's head..badly
I have been screwing with adren’s mind since the beginning of our long rivalry in myth history. I have basically always been inside adren’s head. And this has likely culminated in his weak mind having to resort to defense mechanisms, which includes distorting and repressing painful memories. It must have bothered him a lot that I got along so fabulously with his NC friends, and had so much success being one of the premier players on the team. So this was his way of getting payback (whether consciously or unconsciously). Because I have been messing around in adren's head for so long, along with that jealousy just brewing in his head as well, his psyche has manifested a deeply seated need for not only him to view me in some negative way to help validate himself, but he actually needs the whole world to view me the same way he does to validate his feelings. Namely, he needs the world to see me as "abrasive" (as he kept repeating over and over again throughout this argument), or as he put it one time:
Adren has a personal need to view me this way, and so makes up the story to suggest that not only he views me this way, but the whole world (particularly his friends) also view me this way to validate his fragile psyche and reinforce this need. This is yet another classic defense mechanism again. He has deluded himself into believing that his story is true so he can continue believing that the world sees me the same way he wants to see me.adrenaline wrote: We unanimously did not want you because you are an abrasive person (except maybe ska who didn't care either way). You are like that typical cancerous know-it-all kid on any multiplayer game that thinks he is better than everyone else and never shuts the fuck up about it.
3) Adren's subconscious defense mechanisms have mixed the truth with lies to make it easier to delude himself
Part of adren’s memories are actually likely to be true – particularly as they relate to mwc08 when EW and I actually did request to join NC and were actually denied (another reason why EW is the perfect guy to know about this situation and clear up the mystery). However, it is also obvious that he borrowed those otherwise true memories from an earlier period of time, and the psychological defense mechanisms of his subconscious mind wove a convenient narrative to protect his fragile psyche, and it also mixed it in with some other memories that don’t make any sense. Hence, EW and I can make some sense of the flaw in his thinking, confusing mwc08 with mwc10, but some other things adren says doesn’t make any sense at all. A whole psychological case study could be done on adren’s flawed state of mind.
As EW acknowledged (and I agreed to some extent):
4) Other members of NC just never got involvedEast Wind wrote: Yea I mean damn I’m not gonna lie it is easy to convince yourself though
Shit does blend together
While I hold no ill will towards NC anymore, much like I didn’t at the time of my leaving them before this whole mess started, I must say that the thing that really makes this the perfect storm of events that allows this big lie to continue on for 7+ years is that no one on NC (either shai, ska, or cu) simply stepped in to briefly debunk the bad story being told by adren. I understand most of those guys avoid any forum drama, and don’t want to take sides, especially against one of their own teammates (even if it was a lie), but really even just the smallest intervention on their part at any point in the years afterward could have reeled in this fake story and would have put an end to it quite quickly before it spun so far out of control in adren’s head and could continue to influence my relationship with NC. It was also unfortunate that they were the only ones in a position to debunk it. And it was further unfortunate that many of them went inactive soon after. Did they allow the lie to continue because they didn’t mind it either? Did they just not want to hurt adren? Or did they just not know, care, or remember? Who knows. We may never know.
It may be tempting for some to feel sorry for adren right about now. But let’s not forget that this is a grown man who stuck to a lie for 7 years out of spite.
Now at long last the community can come to the complete and full realization of the motivations behind the two actors (adren and I) in this conflict over the last 7 years.
It is clear that I care about this because the truth is on my side, and my good name has been smeared with the same lies for going on 7 years now, and was continuing to be smeared. And also because an unjust, imaginary wedge was being forced between some of my former friends and I.
And it is also clear that adren cares about this because it is convenient to his ego, convenient to maintaining his deluded worldview, and it is convenient to smear his enemies with his lies.
This gives the above statement all new meaning now, doesn’t it? Might there be some projecting going on here?adrenaline wrote:You are getting repetitive and I really don't feel the need to defend myself anymore... you are clearly a sociopath and there isn't much use in arguing with a crazy person. But keep trying to prove to dwindling myth populace that you aren't are fucking idiot... I'm sure you'll convince one or two people eventually.
Who is the sociopath now, adren? Who is the crazy, deluded, bitter person who stuck to a lie for 7 years? Might it be you?
Did I convince one or two people yet, adren?
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To close with, another statement I gave to Kilgrath when I popped his delusional bubble years ago that also applies almost perfectly here again to address adren:
A Long Lost Letter to NCGiant Killer General wrote: oh god I could go on and on, your entire post is a fucking goldmine, just re-read that shit, HILARIOUS
like a lamb to the wolves
retard.
Dear NC (and in particular, Shaister, Ska, and Cu),
Maybe none of you read this. Maybe none of you care even if you do read it. But since I am on the subject, and just in case someone does read it and does care, allow me to share a few things.
I don’t know anything that happened on the NC side of things after I left. But it is my great fear now that adren may have poisoned some minds over the years behind my back with his deluded rhetoric full of lies about me such as this. Despite my long rivalry with adren, I never could fathom that possibility before. But now the full realization that adren has truly been so extremely and consistently deluded for over 7 years leaves me to believe that now anything is possible in his past actions. So just in case something like that may have happened, there are just a few things that I want you to know directly from me.
First, I want you all to know that I genuinely wished and very sincerely hoped for the best for NC when I departed, and that I held no ill will in my heart towards any of you at the time. My only intention for leaving was to help create some more competitive opponents for you guys (which is perhaps also partly why ghengis left at the same time), and to take a more prominent and independent role as a captain and strategist for another team.
Second, I know I criticized ska’s captaining at times. I know I criticized shaister’s strategizing at times. But I criticized them only in the same way that I criticize everyone's captaining and strategizing. And I also never, ever questioned their value as players, or as people. I know I was being a bit of a pain in the ass at the time because I was going through a transitionary period in my myth life where I had a chip on my shoulder, eager to prove to the myth world that I knew how to captain and strategize. But that’s all it really was. There was never any hard feelings outside the false beef created by this mess.
Third, the reason I am so certain that my conscious was clean with NC when I left is because I was truly and utterly shocked, taken aback, and flabbergasted when this false story was put out for the first time about me soon after I left. I did not expect it at all. I genuinely thought we would remain friends. And although it was almost certainly started by adren acting alone, the rest of NC's silence at the time spoke volumes to me. You may not have intended it that way, and it doesn't matter anymore even if you did, but that is how I received it. So if I reacted poorly at the time, which I am certain I did, then that is a large reason why. If there was something I could have done better when I left to prevent it, I apologize. But to this day I am still not sure what that might be. I know I may have been a slight pain at times, but I genuinely tried to part ways with the team in the most peaceful, responsible, and least dramatic way possible.
If you remember it happening any differently back then, feel free to share where I am wrong. But I want you to know that that is the god to honest truth from my end of things. Don’t let anyone else tell you different. I wouldn’t lie to you about it this many years later. A lot of drama started right afterward, and the lies distorted a lot of things, both directly and indirectly. And I think we all just lost sight of the original truth to some degree – the original truth being that we actually parted ways on good terms (at least as far as I knew, and I think as far as most people knew).
Looking back on it all now, it bothers me that adren has had such an undue influence on determining the direction of our relationship after we parted ways by starting this lie. I am not exactly sure how it became such a massive success in hijacking that relationship, and I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. But I find myself thinking that maybe there is still something that can still yet be done to undo some of the damage in some small way. Maybe I can do that something with this letter.
If it doesn’t bother you like it bothers me, or you can’t see this situation my way because adren is your friend, or for any other reason, then I guess it just is what it is and it wasn’t meant to be anyway. And that’s fine.
But if it does bother you like it bothers me too, and you can see it my way, then who knows, maybe we can run into each other again someday. It may be too late to myth together ever again, but we still have our good memories. And I still wish you all the best of luck in your personal lives. And even if we don't ever speak to each other again, let this letter squash whatever remaining beef we may have, or ever had with one another once and for all to wipe our collective conscious clean of it forever. Whatever it was, it wasn't worth it.
Sincerely,
GKG
SPECIAL THANKS
A special thank you to East Wind for granting me this candid conversation which finally completely exonerates me at long last once and for all. EW – I know you are friends with adren, and I respect that. If I used our conversation in any way that was not what you expected or would have liked because it beats up on adren too much, then I apologize and hope you will forgive me. But I also trust that you understand that after 7 years I deserve this truth to come out so that the lies can stop once and for all.
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Thanks adren. I will keep doing so gladly. This is the end of my gripping tale for now. How did it end for you?adrenaline wrote:Keep writing novellas about how right you are though. We're all dripping with the sweat of anticipation at how this gripping tale will end.
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This concludes my total annihilation of MYTH'S BIGGEST LIE EVER. After 7 years it is finally dead once and for all.
The End.
P.S. – Everyone can see my other 2 articles covering some of the other most delusional events in myth history in the links below:
1) Syn/WTC in 2016: The Bursting of the Proverbial Glass Bubble
2) GoS vs Mariusnet - A Case Study in Myth Power Struggles